anyway,here you go...i hope you people enjoy it...if not just comment on it la k?
Trying Hard
I’m not a gorgeous hunk like celebrities such as Johnny Depp or John Abrahams. Nor am I as good looking as they are. I’m just an average 5 foot 10 guy who’s low in confidence and crack up when it comes to nerves. This is one of the many reasons why I’m still single. I feel that I’m not up to scratch when it comes to creating conversations. And honestly, I go ga-ga when I’m talking to a girl. Yup, I go ga-ga. I mean, it is easy for some guys to crack conversations with girls, but as for me, I think standing in the way of a death match between Batman and Penguin Man would be much more endurable than starting a conversation with a girl.
There was once I was in Starbucks with my friends. My friends realized that I’m reaching 30 and still single. So they urged me to go to a corner where there was this stunningly pretty girl sitting alone having some drinks. If it wasn’t for the fact that one of my friend, who usually crashes every car he drives, threatened to drive my brand new 3 Series, I wouldn’t have relented to them. I went over to the girl’s table, very reluctantly, and tried hard not to wet my pants. When I reached her table, she looked up. I summoned all my strength and smiled at her.
“Hi, err, are you sitting alone?” I asked.
“Oh, hi. I’m waiting for some friends who are supposed to join me tonight. But it is raining outside. I guess maybe they are stuck in heavy traffic or something. Is there anything I can do for you?” She asked.
“Err, I was just thinking if I can join you on this table since you are sitting here alone. Would that be err, ok with you?”
“I’m sorry but I need to go and meet err, my mom in a while. She just err, gave birth and she’s in the clinic.” She stuttered.
I was bewildered. “Erm, your mom just gave birth?” I asked her.
“No, I mean my mom’s waiting with my sister who just gave birth and she’s expecting me in the clinic in a few minutes time. I’m sorry but I really need to go now.” She said.
“But, what about your friends?”
“What friends?” She asked.
“Erm, you mentioned earlier that your friends are coming here in a moment.” I said, now more puzzled than ever.
“Oh, them. Err, no, they said they can’t come tonight because one of them just lost her star, I mean, her car, and she needs to go to the clinic to lodge a report.” She went on.
“Lodge a report in the clinic?” I asked, completely baffled.
“No, I err, meant I need to go to the clinic. My friend needs to go to the police station. Excuse me, but I really need to go now.” She said.
I finally understood the situation. She was trying to avoid me. I don’t need to be a genius to figure that out, so I simply said, “Very well, tell your sister I said congratulations.”
For a moment she looked perplexed. “My sister?” Then comprehension dawned on her. ”Oh oh ok ok, thank you. I’ll tell her that. I’ll see you around.” She said.
“Yeah, sure. Anytime.” I muttered.
And I watched her, glumly, as she made her way out of the door.
To be frank, that wasn’t the worst attempt I’ve ever went through. There was a similar incident that happened a few months after that. This time, I was with the same company of friends in a Mexican cafe. As usual, my friends were asking me when am I going to start going out with a girl and get involved in a relationship maybe even get married.
I was looking around the cafe, trying to ignore their taunts and jeers, when I spotted a girl sitting by herself at a small table. One of my friends saw the direction I was looking at, and adding two and two, got the picture and wasted no time in telling the others about the girl that caught my attention. This time, they threatened to tell my superior that I mixed his morning coffee with laxatives a few days ago. He was too infuriating and maddening, strutting around the office and finding faults without mercy that I had to resort to such move. We had an enjoyable day watching him running to and fro in the office, trying to reach the toilet in time, and hearing moans of pain and very loud farts from the toilet.
So, back to my story, my friends threatened to tell on me, which left me with no choice but to walk over to the girl’s table and, I’m afraid to say, embarrass myself again.
She didn’t look up when I reached her table, so, clearing my throat, and asking God for strength, I asked, “hi, err, is this seat empty?”
She looked up at me and smiling, said, “Yes, and so will this seat if you take that seat.”
I felt my face reddening. But I tried to ignore it. I smiled at her and tried another brave stab at creating a conversation with her.
“I’m Gopi…” I started.
“I prefer Milo.” She said.
I was puzzled. “I mean, my name is Gopi.”
“Oh sorry. I thought you said ‘kopi’. I’m Alicia. How do you do?” She asked, extending her hand.
“I’m fine, how are you?” I asked, starting to feel more confident.
“I was really fine until you came over.” She said, still smiling.
I could have passed for a tomato, the way my face was reddening. Ignoring it again, this time with more difficulty, I sat down opposite her.
“Are you sitting here alone?” I asked her.
“Obviously. Do you think tables and chairs make good company?” She shot back at me. The thing was, she was smiling while making all this retorts. So I really don’t know if she was serious or just joking. I was getting more embarrassed as the minutes passed by. But I was quite determined to talk to her. The only motive I had behind this was because I wanted to show my friends that I’m not a loser.
“So, what are you doing here?” I asked, trying to keep things friendly.
“All the things that I can’t do at home.” She said.
“Oh. So that’s the reason you come to the club? Because you can’t do these things at home?” I asked.
“Precisely. Glad to know you actually understood. Is that the same reason you’re here? Other than trying hard to crack a conversation with me?” She asked.
I can swear to you that you could have fried an egg on my head.
“No I just come here to hang out with my friends. You know, just releasing stress and work tension. So, where are you from?” I asked.
“Anywhere you’ve never been to.” She answered.
“Oh. Err, is this your regular hangout spot?”
“Yeah. Or should I say, it was. Guess I should change to a new spot somewhere else.” She said.
“Err, why do you want to change to a new spot?”
“Well, I suppose the reason is because I want to keep pests off my back. Sometimes it is pretty annoying, you know.”
“What pests?”
“Just pests, you know. No no I’m not talking about you.” I felt a hot surge of anger. “Just that some can’t mind their own business and let me do mine.”
“Err, ok. So, where are you heading to after this?” I asked.
“Any direction you are not heading to.” She answered again.
“Wow, you are quite full of sarcasm, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m just being logical. You actually want to go home with me?” She asked.
“No I never said that…”
“Which means what I said was true.” She quipped.
“All right. You win. Err, can I buy you a drink?” I said uncertainly.
“No thank you. I prefer something sweet.” She said.
The kind of fury I was in, I seriously felt like using Freddy Krueger’s claws on her. Only God knows the amount of anger inside me which was bursting to come out.
At that moment, I heard a voice talking in our direction. “Hi darling. Have you been waiting very long? I’m sorry I had to run some errands in the office.”
I practically jumped in my seat as I turned around to face the speaker. It was a tall, well-built man in office wear. My mind spun faster. I turned to face Alicia, my face looking like a Japanese with a very bad sunburn. Alicia smiled at me and said, “Meet my husband Blake. Blake, this is Govin. He was keeping me company all this while.”
I didn’t even correct her about the pronunciation of my name. I just stood there, my upper and lower jaws five feet apart. Being totally baffled would be an understatement to explain my condition at that moment. I shook hands with him, turned around and walked away. Alicia and Blake just stood there, puzzled at my queer behavior. I sat with my friends but I didn’t talk to any of them. I was speechless. All that effort, gone in a minute’s notice. Well, that wasn’t the only two incidents that happened to me. And I won’t deny any statement you make about me always having a hard luck. From that day onwards, I stopped trying to talk to girls. I guess I tried too hard. That explains my current profession too, of being a priest in a temple…
I’m not a gorgeous hunk like celebrities such as Johnny Depp or John Abrahams. Nor am I as good looking as they are. I’m just an average 5 foot 10 guy who’s low in confidence and crack up when it comes to nerves. This is one of the many reasons why I’m still single. I feel that I’m not up to scratch when it comes to creating conversations. And honestly, I go ga-ga when I’m talking to a girl. Yup, I go ga-ga. I mean, it is easy for some guys to crack conversations with girls, but as for me, I think standing in the way of a death match between Batman and Penguin Man would be much more endurable than starting a conversation with a girl.
There was once I was in Starbucks with my friends. My friends realized that I’m reaching 30 and still single. So they urged me to go to a corner where there was this stunningly pretty girl sitting alone having some drinks. If it wasn’t for the fact that one of my friend, who usually crashes every car he drives, threatened to drive my brand new 3 Series, I wouldn’t have relented to them. I went over to the girl’s table, very reluctantly, and tried hard not to wet my pants. When I reached her table, she looked up. I summoned all my strength and smiled at her.
“Hi, err, are you sitting alone?” I asked.
“Oh, hi. I’m waiting for some friends who are supposed to join me tonight. But it is raining outside. I guess maybe they are stuck in heavy traffic or something. Is there anything I can do for you?” She asked.
“Err, I was just thinking if I can join you on this table since you are sitting here alone. Would that be err, ok with you?”
“I’m sorry but I need to go and meet err, my mom in a while. She just err, gave birth and she’s in the clinic.” She stuttered.
I was bewildered. “Erm, your mom just gave birth?” I asked her.
“No, I mean my mom’s waiting with my sister who just gave birth and she’s expecting me in the clinic in a few minutes time. I’m sorry but I really need to go now.” She said.
“But, what about your friends?”
“What friends?” She asked.
“Erm, you mentioned earlier that your friends are coming here in a moment.” I said, now more puzzled than ever.
“Oh, them. Err, no, they said they can’t come tonight because one of them just lost her star, I mean, her car, and she needs to go to the clinic to lodge a report.” She went on.
“Lodge a report in the clinic?” I asked, completely baffled.
“No, I err, meant I need to go to the clinic. My friend needs to go to the police station. Excuse me, but I really need to go now.” She said.
I finally understood the situation. She was trying to avoid me. I don’t need to be a genius to figure that out, so I simply said, “Very well, tell your sister I said congratulations.”
For a moment she looked perplexed. “My sister?” Then comprehension dawned on her. ”Oh oh ok ok, thank you. I’ll tell her that. I’ll see you around.” She said.
“Yeah, sure. Anytime.” I muttered.
And I watched her, glumly, as she made her way out of the door.
To be frank, that wasn’t the worst attempt I’ve ever went through. There was a similar incident that happened a few months after that. This time, I was with the same company of friends in a Mexican cafe. As usual, my friends were asking me when am I going to start going out with a girl and get involved in a relationship maybe even get married.
I was looking around the cafe, trying to ignore their taunts and jeers, when I spotted a girl sitting by herself at a small table. One of my friends saw the direction I was looking at, and adding two and two, got the picture and wasted no time in telling the others about the girl that caught my attention. This time, they threatened to tell my superior that I mixed his morning coffee with laxatives a few days ago. He was too infuriating and maddening, strutting around the office and finding faults without mercy that I had to resort to such move. We had an enjoyable day watching him running to and fro in the office, trying to reach the toilet in time, and hearing moans of pain and very loud farts from the toilet.
So, back to my story, my friends threatened to tell on me, which left me with no choice but to walk over to the girl’s table and, I’m afraid to say, embarrass myself again.
She didn’t look up when I reached her table, so, clearing my throat, and asking God for strength, I asked, “hi, err, is this seat empty?”
She looked up at me and smiling, said, “Yes, and so will this seat if you take that seat.”
I felt my face reddening. But I tried to ignore it. I smiled at her and tried another brave stab at creating a conversation with her.
“I’m Gopi…” I started.
“I prefer Milo.” She said.
I was puzzled. “I mean, my name is Gopi.”
“Oh sorry. I thought you said ‘kopi’. I’m Alicia. How do you do?” She asked, extending her hand.
“I’m fine, how are you?” I asked, starting to feel more confident.
“I was really fine until you came over.” She said, still smiling.
I could have passed for a tomato, the way my face was reddening. Ignoring it again, this time with more difficulty, I sat down opposite her.
“Are you sitting here alone?” I asked her.
“Obviously. Do you think tables and chairs make good company?” She shot back at me. The thing was, she was smiling while making all this retorts. So I really don’t know if she was serious or just joking. I was getting more embarrassed as the minutes passed by. But I was quite determined to talk to her. The only motive I had behind this was because I wanted to show my friends that I’m not a loser.
“So, what are you doing here?” I asked, trying to keep things friendly.
“All the things that I can’t do at home.” She said.
“Oh. So that’s the reason you come to the club? Because you can’t do these things at home?” I asked.
“Precisely. Glad to know you actually understood. Is that the same reason you’re here? Other than trying hard to crack a conversation with me?” She asked.
I can swear to you that you could have fried an egg on my head.
“No I just come here to hang out with my friends. You know, just releasing stress and work tension. So, where are you from?” I asked.
“Anywhere you’ve never been to.” She answered.
“Oh. Err, is this your regular hangout spot?”
“Yeah. Or should I say, it was. Guess I should change to a new spot somewhere else.” She said.
“Err, why do you want to change to a new spot?”
“Well, I suppose the reason is because I want to keep pests off my back. Sometimes it is pretty annoying, you know.”
“What pests?”
“Just pests, you know. No no I’m not talking about you.” I felt a hot surge of anger. “Just that some can’t mind their own business and let me do mine.”
“Err, ok. So, where are you heading to after this?” I asked.
“Any direction you are not heading to.” She answered again.
“Wow, you are quite full of sarcasm, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m just being logical. You actually want to go home with me?” She asked.
“No I never said that…”
“Which means what I said was true.” She quipped.
“All right. You win. Err, can I buy you a drink?” I said uncertainly.
“No thank you. I prefer something sweet.” She said.
The kind of fury I was in, I seriously felt like using Freddy Krueger’s claws on her. Only God knows the amount of anger inside me which was bursting to come out.
At that moment, I heard a voice talking in our direction. “Hi darling. Have you been waiting very long? I’m sorry I had to run some errands in the office.”
I practically jumped in my seat as I turned around to face the speaker. It was a tall, well-built man in office wear. My mind spun faster. I turned to face Alicia, my face looking like a Japanese with a very bad sunburn. Alicia smiled at me and said, “Meet my husband Blake. Blake, this is Govin. He was keeping me company all this while.”
I didn’t even correct her about the pronunciation of my name. I just stood there, my upper and lower jaws five feet apart. Being totally baffled would be an understatement to explain my condition at that moment. I shook hands with him, turned around and walked away. Alicia and Blake just stood there, puzzled at my queer behavior. I sat with my friends but I didn’t talk to any of them. I was speechless. All that effort, gone in a minute’s notice. Well, that wasn’t the only two incidents that happened to me. And I won’t deny any statement you make about me always having a hard luck. From that day onwards, I stopped trying to talk to girls. I guess I tried too hard. That explains my current profession too, of being a priest in a temple…
for a moment i really tot it was u! hahahha :P u know u la.. u know i know every1 know XD
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